Chat with Evil (circa 1990)

• Evil: You should kill your parents.
• Me: Why would I do that?
• Evil: You can have the money, the house, everything.
• Me: But I'm only 13. I can't drive.
• Evil: The money would buy all the X-Men comics you want.
• Me: Should I use the gun, or the knife?
• Evil: He, he, he... Excellent.